The Overwhelm Cycle - & what to do about it.

If you’re struggling to focus, putting things off, and feeling constantly overwhelmed, congratulations - you’re not lazy, broken, or secretly terrible at life - you’re overloaded.

Somewhere along the line, “having a lot on” insidiously became "I'm not good enough" or "why can't I manage this?", with a complete disregard for the fact that you've bitten off more than is a chewable bite, for probably anyone who values rest, energy and joy.

The Cycle Itself:

1. You have too much to do or something you really don't want to do

2. Your brain panics and goes into standby mode

3. You avoid the thing(s)

4. You feel bad about avoiding the thing(s)

5. You now have more to do and guilt about the thing(s)

   
   

It’s a very efficient system for feeling out of control, & the brain likes efficiency - even when it's bad for us. When tasks feel too big, too vague, or too emotionally loaded, our brain opts for self-preservation over productivity - hence scrolling, snacking, to do lists and tackling a chore you're only doing so you don't have to do something else.

This isn’t a motivation problem, it's really a nervous system issue that needs a self awareness update & a spot of compassion, because the inner critic doesn't need to have a home here - focus doesn’t respond well to bullying.

Why “Just Focus” Doesn't Work

Telling yourself to “just focus” when you’re overwhelmed is like telling someone who’s drowning to “swim better". Your brain is already working overtime, so it doesn't need more pressure, it needs less - a lot less.

Before productivity comes:

• Clarity

• Fewer decisions

• Smaller expectations

• Permission to be temporarily mediocre

Step One: Evict the Thoughts From Your Head

That's right - kick 'em out! Our mind is not a storage unit for poor recommendations and observations that make us feel bad, but somehow, it happens and we need a radical clear out so we can have radicalised results.

How to start? Do a brain dump.

Everything -- tasks, worries, half-ideas, that weird thing you remembered from 2014 - get it out! Then... sort gently:

• What actually needs doing today?

• What matters, but not now?

• What is future-you’s problem?

  
  

Choose 3 priorities for the day. Not seven. Not “everything if I really push myself.” THREE.

Life becomes far less terrifying when it has edges, and much like in a fire, we stop the spread of burn out when we close a coupla' doors.

Step Two: Make the Task Embarrassingly Small

If you keep avoiding something, it’s because the task is still too big. “finish the report” is a trap - it's simple language to describe something that can often be very boring, long winded, meticulous and/or genuinely, difficult to do. Breaking it down into smaller parts changes the way we work with it, for example:

• Open the document

• Rename the document

• Write one terrible sentence

Small steps sneak through while perfectionism is still screaming “WAIT, I HAVE A THOUGHT” - they're the productivity equivalent of tripping & yet landing closer to the finish line than if you ran.

Step Three: Stop Waiting to Feel Like It

Motivation doesn't work like that, she's flaky, unreliable, cancels plans last minute and insists that you find her again before you do anything about the thing you first needed her for. Motivation often comes well after the fact, so don't chase her, just do things that make it easier for her to circle back:

Time Boxing:

• Set a 10–25 minute timer

• Do one thing

• Stop when the timer ends

You’re not committing to productivity forever, just a short, manageable window.

Step Four: Procrastination Is Not a Personality Defect

Nothing is wrong with you, procrastination has a function (which we sometimes like even if it trips up our schedule), it's data, and it usually means one of the following:

• You’re scared of getting it wrong

• You don’t know where to start

• You’re exhausted

• You’re aiming for “perfect or nothing”

  
  

Instead of self-flagellation, try curiosity:

• What part of this feels uncomfortable?

• What’s the tiniest possible version of this task?

• What if this were allowed to be average?

  
  

Being kind to yourself is not letting yourself “off the hook”, it’s how you get back on it.

No Step 5 - Just a Reflection:

You are not behind, you are not failing, and you do not need a colour-coded life overhaul to function. You need fewer expectations, clearer starting points, and a bit more compassion for the fact that you’re human. Focus doesn’t come from cracking the whip, it comes from making things feel safe, small, and possible (and yes, that does count as progress).