Starting Therapy: Because Ignoring Your Feelings Didn’t Work Last Year

January really said, “So… what's the plan here?”

The holidays end, the decorations come down, and suddenly you’re left alone with your brain. No distractions. No background noise. Just you, your patterns, and the realisation that you’ve been “meaning to look into therapy” since at least three versions of yourself ago.

Starting therapy in the new year has become a personality trait, right up there with buying a planner you swear will change your life and deciding this is finally the year you drink more water. But unlike the planner, therapy actually has a decent success rate and a person to hold you to the plan. And no - you don’t have to be in a full-blown crisis to go, you just have to want to go.

You don’t need a dramatic backstory. No rock bottom. No montage of bad decisions. Sometimes the reason is simply, “I keep having the same argument with myself and I’d like a moderator". Therapy is less “fix me!” and more “can someone help me unpack why I react like this?” It’s realising that your emotional responses didn’t just pop up out of nowhere, they've an origin, a purpose and a valid reason for knocking on the door of your brain and asking you to at the very least, look through the peep hole.

Therapy isn’t about becoming a perfectly healed, always regulated adult who journals daily and never spirals. It’s more like learning to catch yourself mid-spiral and go, “Ah. There you are.” Progress, but make it realistic. Sometimes it's pulling yourself out of quite a significant hole, after something quite significant happened to put you there, and learning how to climb out, with someone holding a ladder firmly in place for you to do so. Therapy doesn't promise you an absolute cure, just a place to be yourself and make sense of your "you-ness". You’ll still have bad days. You’ll still overthink. You might even leave some sessions feeling worse before you feel better (which feels rude, but that's processing). Growth isn’t linear, it’s more of a squiggly line with detours we ask you to look at, curiously.

Starting therapy in January also doesn’t mean you expect a whole new personality by February. It just means you’re open to understanding yourself a little better than last year. Less self-judgment, more self-awareness. Same you - just with better context. So if therapy is on your new-year list, this is your sign: you don’t need to justify it. You don’t need to be “bad enough.” Wanting support, a bitta' self awareness or just exploring that scratch telling you to "give it a bash" is plenty reason enough. If you've been putting it off and know you need the help, see this as a sign you also deserve it, too.

What the First Therapy Session Is Actually Like

Let’s demystify it, because the first therapy session can been wildly overdramatised.

You are not immediately asked to unpack your deepest trauma, in fact we typically suggest staving that off until we've explored each other a bit. No one hands you a clipboard labeled “Explain Your Entire Personality.”, there's no pop quiz on your feelings where you win or lose based on your understanding. Mostly, it's a conversation. A slightly structured one. With a stranger who is paid to not judge you.

They’ll probably start with something like, “So, what brings you in?”, which is often where most people panic & the mind goes blank. If your answer is “I don’t know, I just feel off” that's as grand a starting point as any and a completely valid opening statement. You don’t need a thesis, you don’t need bullet points - vague is allowed. Rambling is allowed, swearing is allowed, crying, laughing, and immediately apologising for the lot of 'em are also allowed. A lot of the first session is essentially logistics anyway: background stuff, big-picture questions, we might ask about your life, your stress levels, your sleep, your relationships, your coping habits. Not to interrogate you, but just to get a lay of the land. Think: emotional intake form, but with eye contact (unless you hate that and obviously, we can ping pong that into comfortability).

You might feel awkward - that’s normal. You’re talking about personal things with someone you met five minutes ago so understandably, it can feel a little weird. Therapy doesn’t magically start feeling natural just because it’s “good for you.”, comfort is something that builds over time and what emerges once you get stuck in and feel safe.

And here’s something people don’t say enough: you might leave the first session thinking, “Was that… it?” - that’s also normal.

The first session isn’t about breakthroughs (though that can happen), it’s about orientation. You’re not supposed to feel fixed, enlightened, or reborn, you’re just establishing a starting point. Like opening a new document and typing a title. You’re also allowed to decide if this person is your person. Therapy is a relationship. If the vibe is off, you’re not failing, it wasn't a waste of time, you’re just dating around professionally and learning what you might like. It's a healthy thing to do and often, part of the process (even if it’s mildly inconvenient).

Most importantly: you don’t have to perform. You don’t have to say

the “right” thing. You don’t have to be insightful or self-aware on command. Showing up is quite enough for day one. The goal of the first session isn't to change your life and 180 your experience (though again, this can happen), the goal is to just to start the conversation.

And honestly? That’s a pretty solid way to kick off a new year. Not just any year either of course, for those following the Zodiac with laser like interest, you'll know it's the year of the Horse - and the Horse wants you to go to therapy (probably).

Want to take the next step?

Schedule in with us here.