Doing the work - & how to actually do it.

Sick of your mental health being a weird little roller coaster with no seat belt and you can't get off? Therapy not working? Life feeling annoyingly hard? Emotions getting harder to regulate? Managing your mood starting to feel like a full time job? Well it's as good a time as ever to get your self together before 2026 wraps (I know, no one likes to hear the end of the year is approaching, but it is, and sometimes having a deadline does the job).

Not sure where to start? We've got the basics - and they are basic, but they work. Can't be bothered to read the whole article? Scroll to the bottom for the speed round.

1. Do the hardest thing at the start of the day. High cortisol in the morning form tends the struggle of your day. We need to be exposed to adversity in order to develop resilience, and when we don’t - when we’re not - we suffer it. We experience victimisation, an increased stress response more broadly and have less biological, physiological and psychological protectors, which stop us from coping with things, when they inevitably go wrong. It isn’t possible to pivot, if your body doesn’t know how to turn anymore. Flexibility requires effort, we have to stretch, in order to bend - without breaking.

2. Get outside. 30 minutes a day, and be in nature. We need sunlight, we need grass, we need to interact with the world as it is, not as it’s delivered through a screen. Don’t go panicking about UV rays and all the rest, avoid baking yourself with olive oil, factor up and listen to your skin. However you do it, know that research has unequivocally shown that being exposed to the sun - daylight in your eyes and on your body, quite literally extends your life. It’s best in the morning, but if you go out later on there’s nothing wrong with that either. In fact, you’ll protect yourself against blue light (think phone screens, devices, media etc) and you’ll ultimately sleep better - which you need to be able to do, if you want to feel better anyway.

3. Sleep. Obviously sleep. But take it seriously. Get to bed at a reasonable time, make your room an environment you want to be in, a place that’s restful, calming and induces a desire to restore - not wilt or wither away. Keep your bed for sleeping specifically, do not build an association with being in bed and doing anything else if you can help it, because the brain likes a good old association and if you make it so it’s easy to believe your double mattress is an office, your brain won’t be quite as inclined to switch off the next time you want to clamber in to the covers and get a solid 7-10. How many hours should you have? Studies show at least 7, 8-9 is often considered optimum, some need 10. Listen to your body clock and notice if you’re waking up rested or not. If you’re not - ask yourself why. Was it the amount of hours, or the quality of them? If one, either or both, adjust as above. You won’t change your circadian habits over night, but you will change them with commitment.

4. Hydrate. A minimum of 1 litre a day is the go, ideally you’re sporting anywhere between 2-4 depending on your lifestyle, climate, genetics and body. If you’re an athlete, vocalist, incredibly tall person who happens to like sports, a woman stuck in the desert on a random Tuesday, a short guy stocked with muscle beyond belief, or a child rearing up for the Olympics, you’re going to need an amount of water that’s appropriate for your tasks. The minute you feel thirsty, you’re already dehydrated. Don’t wait to find out, prevention is always better than cure and you won’t get very far if you’re not watered well enough to travel.

5. Socialise. Now this can be hard for the anxious amongst us, which is everybody by the way, anxiety is a human emotion not an alien experience, however for some of us it’s the daily norm that inhibits daily norms. None the less, it needs attention and we need community, so find yourself a hobby, a plan, a group, a person, a check in buddy, accountability partner, old friend, new friend, family member you don’t hate, and lean into being somebody to someone, so you can have someone for yourself. Start with small interactions in your day, smile at someone random, give a compliment, share an idea, ask a weird question, teach someone something you learned, give advice to someone who needs it, listen to someone who needs it more. Start by showing up, and let the serotonin and oxytocin do the rest.

6. Diet. Don’t eat shit, generally. And if you do, just moderate it. Sugar is a drug and it does very little for the body long term that a Mediterranean diet can’t resolve within 48 hours. We thrive when we’re eating well, and feeding our bodies with literal fuel, not chaos and carbs for the day that doesn’t need it. You’re allowed of course, to pick a diet that makes sense for and to you, but notice when you feel most energised, and when you feel the worst. Notice what energy feels organic, and what feels like it’s been induced from a maccas and four bags of skittles. A regulated body is a body that can do and produce more, so at the very least, give it something to nourish itself that counteracts whatever you’re doing that’s likely the opposite. You’ll feel proud, and your body will thank you down the line. If you happen to be interested in your bowel movements, those will change too, and if you want to know how healthy you are, grab your specs and the Bristol stool chart during your porcelain meeting.

7. Move your body. Exercise, exercise, exercise. Resistance training - lifting weights and ensuring you’re moving multiple joints at once does absolute numbers for the qualitative and quantitative data of your life. Your body needs a healthy amount of stress, and when it comes to muscles and capacity - if you don’t use it, you lose it. Cardio matters, and many scientists will tell you it’s an essential facet of working out. Others will tell you it’s weights or nothing. Whatever camp you land in, you’re wanting to get a burn, a degree of sweat, experience some difficulty and move the needle of your own ability. Exercise includes stretching, which means giving your limbs the opportunity to broaden their ability to move freely, without resistance and with increased flexibility over time. Flexibility in almost every domain of life is freedom, and mobility work is what - shocking news - enables us to STAY mobile, throughout life. There’s literally no reason to be 50, 60, 70 or 80 and implausibly stiff and stuck at home. Move now, thank me later.

8. Expose yourself to healthy stressors - cold plunges, new environments, an activity you’ve not tried before, a skill you’ve been wanting to learn, doing something you know you’ll be bad at, facing rejection intentionally - this builds tenacity, and tenacity builds confidence, and a comfortability in the self, that can’t exist without the self, having been challenged. Push yourself, so you’re not dragging your own behind later down the line.

In Summation:

1. Do the hardest thing at the start of the day.

2. Get outside. 30 minutes a day, and be in nature.

3. Sleep. Obviously sleep. But take it seriously.

4. Hydrate. Between 2-4 litres for adults.

5. Socialise.

6. Diet. Don’t eat shit, generally. And if you do, moderate it.

7. Move your body. Exercise, resistance train, lift weights.

8. Expose yourself to healthy stressors

Optimise towards comfort, don’t seek it out immediately. You get comfortable from exposure, not from avoiding it, so take even 5 minutes a day to do something that you found hard the day before. And if you REALLY want to compound the benefits, end your day (or why not audit it throughout) with all the things you’ve done that reflect an active, proactive change, and investment in changing your life.